You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
