a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
