the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
