allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
