I wannas sexs uuuuu
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
