no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
