i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
