I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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