If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
