When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
