Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
