i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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