How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
