Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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