just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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