I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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