I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Randomize
