You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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