i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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