Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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