im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
