Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
