Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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