Don't make out with my wife yet
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
