You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
