I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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