so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
