The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
