I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
