woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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