that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
