I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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