He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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