you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
