I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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