After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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