D3 body, D1 cock
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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