My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize