His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
