Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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