What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
