if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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