I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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