"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
