Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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