I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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