well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
