Me too!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
