I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
