the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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