I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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