i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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