I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
