Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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