yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In other news, I just burned my penis
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
