Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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