Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize