I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
two words: eviction party
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
