the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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