After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am available for nakedness
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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