I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
third nipple confirmed
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
